Pugnacious Amorousness

I haven't written in a while and with so much going on emotionally and in relationships I kinda needed to get my feelings out in a semi poem. It's not about someone in particular but about many particular someones. Read it and let me know your thoughts. Also look up the meaning of the title to this and maybe it will give a little insight too...

"Pugnacious Amorousness"

Mixed. Torn. Confused. Delusional.
So many words to describe so many feelings
Yet the cliché” time heal all, forgets all, and moves all” is what I have to
Depend on till, when
But when will this great healer called time work its miracle cure
Because today time is not healing and the agony of words that describe feelings are current
Like each intake of air as if I’m drowning in water waiting for a savior
Yet I have to be strong, remain neutral, keep my ground, and hope all things come around in, time
All the while I want to scream to be heard, heard to be held, held to be consulted, consulted till it’s made right
Yet I’m drowning in those feeling waiting for a savior, a savior who can make the wrong right, the right now, and the now permanent
But who wants to take the task of a flaying, screaming, uncontrollable body in the midst of drowning emotions to be that savior, the fairytale hero
There are many who would say, yes I am ... with the savior music in the background
Giving the empty promises of hope to save my soul from drowning
Others watch and wait for another to come be that hero then step in to take credit for the work
Only to back out when the truth come to light
Yet all the while neither wanting the aftercare treatment only the right now healing
How can one accept saving when saving has dual purpose?
Blindly go in forgetting the past or allow each savior, that so called hero to do what they can
When is it best to let go and hold on, hold on and be bitter, let go and be free.
There’s no manual no simple answer other than” time heal all, forgets all, and moves all”
Yet the question remains:
Is there one who would handle the cause of saving one from their inner drowning without a dual purpose?