What is a best fit.. Help!

I hate trying to find who the best fit is for me. I honestly thought it was S, but I guess I was wrong. I have this issue when I am with a person for long period of time, and I begin to acquire strong emotional ties to him. My issue is needing to know how I should respond to him emotionally, physically, and mentally. I hate being in a situation where I care and he doesn't, so I ask the question: “what are we?" Well, that is what I asked S last night and the answer he gave me was not what I wanted to hear.
I stopped by S place after having drinks with a girlfriend because I knew that question was looming in my mind. I told S, “Hey, what are we because I'm confused with this whole situation." He responds,”What are you confused about?" I told him why I was confused. I stated that I had never been in a committed relationship before due to the fact most of my relationships in the past have been kind of open relationships. Also that I don't know really know how to react to what I am feeling in this situation due to the fact that how I am feeling is new to me. I also expressed my unwillingness to open myself up completely something (someone). Because I was fearful of letting myself be that open and it could come back to slap me in my face later down the road because it did not work out. I ended it with I just need to know so I can respond accordingly. In a way know where I stand.

He responds back, “I’m not confused I know how I feel. You can do want makes you happy."
I told him, “No, I can't do what makes me happy because there is another person involved. What I want may not be what you want, so you have to tell me what it is that you want out of this. I don't want you to give me empty promises or say things your don't mean I know you can't promise me every thing will be ok because that is not possible. Tell me what it is you feel about us. "

His response, which floored me, was," You can do want you want. If you want to date other guys, that is fine with me. I know that I am not going to date around because I don’t have time to work things out, well actually, I do but it is a waste of time and energy to gout and date. I know you may find a nicer guy out there. "

I was so hurt. What S said was not what I wanted to hear, but what he said is his truth. I thought his feeling for me were the same? It sure seemed like they were. I guess I was mistaken or creating what was not there. At least I know how things are and can respond accordingly. Basically indifferent and unavailable for him or any one else for quite some time in a way I knew this was the case but I hoped that I was wrong and I was being skeptical. For S I was willing to make an attempt to be completely with one person and not have an open relationship.

This person was not right for me. I am beginning the shut down process all over again and I really don't think I want to reopen for a while. I'm not saying it will never happen but not anytime soon. It is hard, which is not the obvious, nor do I want keep going with this circle. Having an open relationship is draining cause the security is not really there and trying to have the security is frustrating.

Life goes on can't really force the changes I want I just have to deal and move on. Well back to work school spirituality.

: S me