Do you like me ? Do I like you?

Ah parties. As fun as they can be once you sober up the mind starts reveling what you've done. Case and point. This past Saturday I went with a few co-workers to a Christmas party one of our sales reps were having in the bay. Lots of liquor was served and we were really wasted. Okay all but two of my co-workers were wasted, the driver and another girl. The remaining 4 of us were goners. I bring this up because my supervisor, who by the way so cute, was hitting on me. Now, I think he is an attractive man but I'm not interested in him. I mean we work together and I don’t really know him well enough to be infatuated to the point of dating. Plus, I have issues I need to work through before dating.
Anycase.
As the night got later he made a comment that threw me off guard. He stated that he like the way I was wearing the dress I had on as I was getting him another beer. Then when I came back he stated that I treat him so well. Then the rest of the night it was baby this and baby that. As we were leaving I used him as support. Ok I know another drunk asking another drunk for help, eh but understand I was in4.5"heels and a dress and walking on my on would of been disastrous. So I asked my sup for help.

Ok let me stop to analyze this and say I was not sexually harassed. I know all about that from personal experience believe me that one I’m not doing again. Listen if the advances are unwanted and you say stop that is harassment. This dear was in a way wanted. We make sexual jokes a lot at work (the two of us) so maybe that is why he wanted to be close. Then again, I wanted him to be closer to me which is why I asked him for help. My devious drunk mind now has me wishing this didn’t happen.

So we walk to the car and he is totally sweet. Asking if I'm okay and if I had a good time. I get in the car and fall out. He grasps my arm and starts touching it. Ok you ask how this is possible. I am in the front seat and he is directly behind me. I lay on the arm rest he grabs my arm. I return the favor because okay 5 months of not being really touched I didn’t want it to stop. So we stop for a bathroom break. My support gets out and helps me to the bathroom. Now his arms are around me and still gently touching me. We go do the bathroom thing and as we walk back to the car, I tell him that our relationship goes back to normal on Monday. He states, whatever you want I'm fine. I’m now in the back seat and he is spread out on the seat next to me. To be nice, yes nice, I move over to give him my shoulder because he had to drive two other wasted people home and needed the time to sleep the liquor off. He then kisses my arm and wraps the other around my leg touches me in that same sensual way. Okay I am a leg, back face neck, and one other area for arousal girl. Now here I am in the back seat fighting being aroused and moving my hand in the same sensual movement up his inner thigh (ok not all the way up there). I kissed his hair once in a while. When it was time for me get out of the truck he pulled me a little closer and moaned no. Ok that’s the night.

However I see him every workday and it bugs the crap out of me because I don’t know his mind set. I think he's still cute and I just don’t want anything physical. He just got out of a relationship and I have this feeling that he is just in a physical state. Then on the other hand I just want to pretend it didn’t happen because not to much did happen between us. It was two drink people feeling the each other why should I make more out of nothing. Then again the saying goes the truth comes out when you’re drunk. Yet it was nothing and I am making it something because I am concerned about out past conversation. As I said before we joke a lot sexually so, I’m concerned that since the other co-worker ,that was sober, had made a comment to other co-workers about out "moment" in jest this could create problems in the work area to more sensitive people we work with. So here is my dilemma leave it alone and pretend I'm okay or pull him to the side to talk about the "moment" to make sure our work relationship is ok. Plus to make sure our joking in limited to between each other when there is not a lot of people near by. Ahhhh.

I had a feeling this would happen
When he kept looking at me
I knew he was looking at me
Those stolen looks when no one would pay attention
The gentle attraction between the eyes
But before we became lost in our eyes
I would look and laugh my head away
He peered from amongst the crowd to
Steal another second of my eyes
I felt his presence even when I could not
See his eyes
I knew I needed to feed my own attraction
I would come closer to feel his presence and move away
This was the game we played till it came too close
Like a hand to a flame our game would soon end
I had a feeling this would happen
But I lied and told myself I could control the
Attraction by playing a flirtatious game
Laugh and look away
But the solitary moment when
The words
The touch
The look in his eyes
For more
Caused me to
No longer play a flirt to this game
Falling in
Deeply in
I knew it was mutual but was is withstanding
This solitary moment.
See moments in solitary causes
The open moments to be different
Now
I wake to see
The real world
With those same eyes
Strong with attraction
Have calmed down
No flirtatious game
No laughing and turning away
Just
Us
Needing to work together