Self-Transformation

“Most people who decide to change something about themselves leap headlong into action.” Oprah magazine V.8 p.57 2007

I was reading O magazine a few weeks ago. In her January 2007 edition, the main focus was “Be The Woman You Want to Be: Why it’s so Hard to Change Yourself a Revolutionary Guide to Making it Happen”. Ok, honestly I looked at the cover and was skeptical, but, at the same time I wanted to change. I’ve been talking about change like a new man crush that I was too afraid to approach (unless I was drunk but that’s a different story). I would write about the small changes and the backsliding to old habits. I would promise that this time, like all other times, that the changes I wanted to make would stick, yet the whole time I was looking in the mirror with covered eyes. I would peak through my fingers and see the hideousness of my ways but cover my eyes again , shaking my head , saying that it’s okay this time because it’s for the last time. I know that feeding into my old ways is only fueling the fire and I’ll never change unless I stop all together.

Funny, but, to change is to stop one habit and start another.

So, I’m reading the magazine and get to a page titled “O, Something to Think About “. On the page there were four questions to begin, as the reader, my self transformation. Again, skepticism a foot. How can four questions determine the jump start to my transformation? Now, skeptism always hinders me for getting the full benefit of the message because I have predestined views in mind. So I closed the magazine and called it a bunch of bull shit that Oprah is trying to force down my throat (mind you I bought the magazine to help myself ha-ha) I let the magazine sit on my desk for a two weeks. Midway through the second week, I put my history textbook over the cover because I was tired of seeing the nagging orange letters reminding me to be the woman I’ve always wanted as well as those 4 questions. I’m not really ready to commit to the changes I wanted to make. I want to change but committing to the change is the issue. This conclusion was after I picked up the magazine today and read the first two questions:

1a. Do I know why I want to make this change? ____________
1b. Have I assembled all the instructions, equipment, and advisers that this shift will require? ___________________________________

2. You should be able to answer “yes” to both questions before you commit to a transition. Can you explain the reason for the change and list the places you can turn to for help? _________________________________________________________________


Well, doh, I know why I want to make this change. I want to have a happier, spiritual, consistent, healthier, and stronger life for myself. I need to wake up every morning and sleep every night happy with me by not caring what any one thinks, living for myself, doing what makes me happy , standing up for myself and being okay with doing that, controlling my stronger emotions( anger , sadness, disappointment, and fear ) , communicating better, and living with God first before a husband. Now have I done part b of question one? Nope. There are ideas of what to do but I don’t know how to take them and create a plan with all of the aspect of the question.


** I’ll continue with an update as I progress on and answer the other four questions when I get there. ….


Ooo.. This is my 102 post here on blogger and I've been on for almost a year! I think yeaaaa for me... : )