Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Not Dating .

Some of the poem’s wording might seem old-fashioned, but the message is timeless.

A Woman’s Question
By Lena Lathrop

Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing?
Ever made by the Hand above?
A woman’s heart, and a woman’s life -----
And a woman’s wonderful love.

Do you know you have asked for this priceless thing
As a child might as for a toy?
Demanding what others have died to win,
With the reckless dash of a boy.

You have written my lesson of duty out,
Manlike, you have questioned me.
Now stand at the bars of my woman’s soul
Until I shall question thee.

You require your mutton shall always be hot,
Your socks and your shirt are whole;
I require your heart be true as God’s stars
And as pure as His heaven your soul

You require a cook for your mutton and beef,
I require a fare greater thing;
A seamstress you’re wanting for socks and shirts---
I look for a man and a king.

A king for the beautiful realm called Home,
And a man that his Maker, God.
Shall look upon as he did on the first
And say: “It is very good.”

I am fair and young, but the rose my fade
From this soft young cheek one day;
Will you love me then ‘mid the falling leaves,
As you did ‘mong the blossoms of May?

Is your heart an ocean so strong and true,
I may launch my all on its tide?
A loving woman finds heaven or hell
On the day she is made a bride.

I require all things that are grand and true,
All things a man should be;
If you give this all, I would stake my life
To be all you demand of me.

If you cannot be this , a laundress and cook
You can hire and little to pay
But a woman’s’ hear and a woman’s life
Are not to be won that way.


I read this poem in the book I have been reading " I kissed Dating Goodbye" By Joshua Harris and this poem stuck out to me so much because it covers how I want the first step into talking about marriage with any future mate. I have notices since I am no longer looking for a mate my life has been come easier to bear. Loneliness occurs at times but always I am happy waiting for the right man to show up. It's crazy to tell people I'm not dating anymore because I'm waiting to hear from God what my next move will be , yet at the same time it's very comforting. I've found this peace not worry who will be my next love ( to turn into the ex-love) The round abut circle has begun to leave it's scars and I don’t want to carry those into my future long term relationship because it's not fair to my mate nor is it fair to myself. I went on this change after I ended things with L because I was seeing a pattern and the promise I made myself when I turned 18 .


I promised myself that no matter who hurt me I would never take it out on other people that my past relationship are my past nor would I grow up to be a bitter woman who holds on to past hurts and drugs them up each time a new relationship comes up. I’m noticing that I am taking the hurt I have experienced and I am starting to hold on to it. I'm starting to become afraid to love and trust because I don't want to end up hurting. I am becoming bitter because love has not ended up like I always hoped. So I used the old saying , if there is a problem with people first look at you to fix it.

This change in relationships has shown me that I am not ready to be married let alone have a boyfriend because the small issues are still in the progress of being worked out. It would be nice to be in love with the right one but if the timing is wrong the relationship is wrong. I know that when my life is right then love will be right because no person needs to deal with past baggage to enjoy love.