How can you scream “I got 5 on it “
When you can’t even pay 5 on that credit card bill
Taking 5
On the rim
The clothes
The look
That isn’t even yours
To feed an addiction
Called spending
Yet that 5 on it
Isn’t going to wards
Retirement
That
I R A
But
No it’s
A T M
Like money
Is going to be there
Forever
Don’t you remember?
Those 40+ hours
You put in to
Get that 5
And here you are
Blowing it on
Materialistic crap
That’s doesn’t even matter
Trying to be the Jones
When the Jones
Are fictional characters
I don’t understand why there are
So many going broke to live a
Lifestyle that isn’t theirs
Cuffing themselves to a
Min payment and 30% interest
Yelling I got 5 on it
What about a financial legacy
Yell about that
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Monday, April 17, 2006
Stir up
I saw an old “flame" while I was shopping this weekend and some feelings started to stirrup, but I knew I couldn’t go back to him. It's like wanting a huge chocolate chip cookie but knowing it will do bad things to my will power to stay on my eating plan is my chocolate chip cookie. I can’t have him because of the drama he brings with him but he's ooo so good.
What I mean by this is that he is a decent person and we have really good sex, but he has these issues with staying faithful and communication.
That's why we stopped dating because J could not be completely open with me nor could he remain faithful. Don't get me wrong I did not take his crap continuously, I gave him two chances and after the second time of the same crap it was hit the road, Jack.
What really hurt me is when we stopped speaking it was that he choose her over me. J gave her one of the two things I wanted from him and that was communication. I don't ask for a man to pour his soul out to me because some things need to be left to his self. I just needed him to have a discussion with me about anything and know that he understands what I am saying, vice-versa. I would talk to him and it would be like talking to a wall. Then when I would ask him why he could not talk to me, he had the nerve to say that is not his style and if he really had something to say he'd say it. Well gosh, that was close to never. I mean we as people live breathe things cause us to think to feel to go humm... and the only thing I get is if I need to say something it will present it's self.
Then again maybe it's me (no this is not taking the blame). I expect people to have a passion to communicate (verbally, preferred) their thoughts. I mean the world has so much and communication in a verbal manor gives a lot of definition. Don’t get me wrong a person could write down what they are feeling but to take the time to look me in the face and say what is on your mind takes more guts that writing it down. However many men I come across are not the same way nor understand this part of communicating most things.
This is not saying that all men can not communicate but that most that I meet can not handle the above that I wrote about. This makes things very frustrating for me. Decent guy with annoying attributes that drive me crazy or single hoping and self respected, aye!
The thoughts that come up in this instant are will I put up with it or move on to that "something better"? That is always the nagging question when figuring out is this man the right man. Because the answer is never right or wrong, this can cause a win or a loss. Gosh "love" is so hard.
Which begs to know, will this round about issues end, can trust prevail all and does forgiveness really, really exist?
The answers are of one that I will have to figure out and make my own reality yet, will it cause a delusion that only I can save myself from?
I know forgiveness is possible to allow the one person that treated me like I was less deserving back in my life is like telling myself I am fat all the time. That is not healthy at all to allow myself to settle because somewhat I'm happy.
I also know being delusional will not solve my problems only magnify them
Trust, humm that's a hard one.
I want to remain somewhat naive believing that there is good in spite of all evil but the older I get the more rigid that thought patter is becoming. How can you believe in a person who can at any time choose to do what they want to with out taking the other person into perspective?
Then again, I know the answer to that one because I have done it myself... but when the tables are turned oo it sucks, huh?
These thoughts will end and life will resume to normal. I will forget I had these feeling and may end up with the right guy to give them to but to have a stirrup of feeling I thought were becoming repressed as a single girl is hope that I am alive in here.
What I mean by this is that he is a decent person and we have really good sex, but he has these issues with staying faithful and communication.
That's why we stopped dating because J could not be completely open with me nor could he remain faithful. Don't get me wrong I did not take his crap continuously, I gave him two chances and after the second time of the same crap it was hit the road, Jack.
What really hurt me is when we stopped speaking it was that he choose her over me. J gave her one of the two things I wanted from him and that was communication. I don't ask for a man to pour his soul out to me because some things need to be left to his self. I just needed him to have a discussion with me about anything and know that he understands what I am saying, vice-versa. I would talk to him and it would be like talking to a wall. Then when I would ask him why he could not talk to me, he had the nerve to say that is not his style and if he really had something to say he'd say it. Well gosh, that was close to never. I mean we as people live breathe things cause us to think to feel to go humm... and the only thing I get is if I need to say something it will present it's self.
Then again maybe it's me (no this is not taking the blame). I expect people to have a passion to communicate (verbally, preferred) their thoughts. I mean the world has so much and communication in a verbal manor gives a lot of definition. Don’t get me wrong a person could write down what they are feeling but to take the time to look me in the face and say what is on your mind takes more guts that writing it down. However many men I come across are not the same way nor understand this part of communicating most things.
This is not saying that all men can not communicate but that most that I meet can not handle the above that I wrote about. This makes things very frustrating for me. Decent guy with annoying attributes that drive me crazy or single hoping and self respected, aye!
The thoughts that come up in this instant are will I put up with it or move on to that "something better"? That is always the nagging question when figuring out is this man the right man. Because the answer is never right or wrong, this can cause a win or a loss. Gosh "love" is so hard.
Which begs to know, will this round about issues end, can trust prevail all and does forgiveness really, really exist?
The answers are of one that I will have to figure out and make my own reality yet, will it cause a delusion that only I can save myself from?
I know forgiveness is possible to allow the one person that treated me like I was less deserving back in my life is like telling myself I am fat all the time. That is not healthy at all to allow myself to settle because somewhat I'm happy.
I also know being delusional will not solve my problems only magnify them
Trust, humm that's a hard one.
I want to remain somewhat naive believing that there is good in spite of all evil but the older I get the more rigid that thought patter is becoming. How can you believe in a person who can at any time choose to do what they want to with out taking the other person into perspective?
Then again, I know the answer to that one because I have done it myself... but when the tables are turned oo it sucks, huh?
These thoughts will end and life will resume to normal. I will forget I had these feeling and may end up with the right guy to give them to but to have a stirrup of feeling I thought were becoming repressed as a single girl is hope that I am alive in here.
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