Wrong , could be . That's a thought

How come I try to help at the request of another person and when I help the person does not like my method of helping them. Let's say for example, Person A doesn't know how to cook and ask for Person B to help them. You're giving suggestions and advice, yet Person A is getting apprehensive and annoyed. To prevent further tension Person B leaves, but out of pure concern comes back to help. Upon their return Person B just observes instead of saying anything and intervenes instead of suggesting. After seeing that their advice is not being taken, Person B states they would like to take part of the food and cook for themselves because they can not watch the continuous mistakes and mishaps from Person A.

Well in this case Person A is my sister and Person B is I. She was cooking for the first time a fairly simple meal but in a way complex if not done right. I tried to give pointers and ways to make the meal better since this is her first time, for most of the time I did not say much. Once I told my sister that I would like to take part of the meal to cook for myself because I like the way I do it and since she would not take any of my suggestion yet instead learn by trail and error. My sister throws in my face that I wanted to just cook for myself and my BF. This by the way is not the case. I am the type of person if I am helping anyone in a beneficial matter and they deiced not to take the help and do it another way I will make a few attempts to try but after a while I will stop and either leave or do what it is I needed to do omitting the person I am helping out of the equation. I hate to be frustrated or not listened to when I was asked for assistance, however if I just interjected, which I have the tendency to do, I could not get offended or hurt if the person I am trying to help with out their permission objects or gets upset towards me.

Any case I leave the kitchen and tell my sis when she is done cooking to let me know. Mind you the stuff was to be split between two of the same meals. She leaves the kitchen and tells me she is done. I get in there and I have less that half to finish my part of the meal. So here I am agitated, because I have to cook for not just myself but another person and there is nothing for me to cook with. I ask another person that lives with us is there any extra stuff and she tells me the only extra that we have is the sauce for the meal in the pantry. So I scrounge up what I can with what I have. I angrily fix what I need for the meal and say loudly from the kitchen

Me: sis, If you wanted to screw me you did a great job.
Sis: I didn't do anything if you want to cook, cook. I thought what was pre-prepared was just for my meal.
Me: how do you figure, if you would use common sense you would know what you had was more that half. Its fu****g full I mean how stupid can you get.
Sis: if you would have just let me cook then you would not have been in this situation
Me: like I said you sometimes lack common sense and this time really proves it.
Sis: you know what just shut the fu** up and just cook I don’t know what you're bi*****g. matter of fact you're right and the smart one here

We go at this pointless argument for a while her patronizing me and me returning the favor until she says

Sis: if you're so much smarter than the rest of us, then smart people would not have committed suicide, which shows how smart you are.

Whoa, that knocked the wind out of me. I was so hurt but I stated
Me: you proved that I am smart but resorting to pointing out my flaw in this argument. How could you say that in this discussion .That means you were loosing the battle if you had to go so low?

She gets up and walks into her room. I turn off the TV and play music. I was hurt, angered, disappointed, frustrated, and a complete failure.

Yea I tried to kill myself but I don't need someone throwing that in my face in an argument. I don't throw out people's flaw or what they said previously in an argument, I state the relevant flaws. I point out the obvious flaw that got me and the other person in the argument in the first place. I made a mistake when I was young and I spend every day trying not to ever get to that place again. It is hard to live being depressed , obsessive, perfectionist, and attempting able to live up to the high self imposed standards.

She comes back in the kitchen while I'm cooking and gets upset that I have condensed some of the pots on the stove

Sis: I would like if you would not touch anything when I am cooking
Me: I was trying to be helpful but using smaller pans and you didn't know what I was doing.
Sis: I don't care what you were doing you could have left it alone
Me: o that right cause suicidal people need same people to tell them what to do, like you are. I’m sorry for not asking you first
Sis: that’s right. Now your feelings are all hurt because of what I said but you can call me stupid and have no common sense and think it is ok.
me: I never did say it was ok but is supports the argument at the time you sometimes don't think before you do things , you're not aware of your surrounding and it hold a point to initiated why we are having this argument.
Sis: Well my points hold/ leave my things alone

If her justification for throwing that in my face was cause I point out that because she would not listen the advice being asked and that she was inconsiderate was stupid and lacked sense then in her mind she was right. There were way more foolish things she has done but I never throw any of that in her face when in an argument but because most of our arguments are because she fails to use sense and smarts is not my doing. All I can do is point out the obvious. I don't see where I was wrong but, only if I did not instigate the responses and just said my point and nothing more then it would not have when this far but o well. I can’t change being hurt well... sigh... and I supposed to be the victim and I feel bad for saying some of the things I did.

Life ah...