What is the definitions of a relationship

I read this today:

The lover is dependant, entirely, terriblly dependent on his beloved for something he needs, the reciprocity of his love… [but] He will only be loved if she finds him pre-eminiment. He must present himself in the guise in which she would see her beloved. This leads to a false presentation of the self and the chronic fear of exposure and loss of love

I read that paragraph and thought nothing of it at first until I looked at how I approached love. I did not realize till now that I was systematically taught to be dependant on my future lover in the stereotypical” true womanhood”

You may ask what the “true womanhood”? Well, it is four characteristic that a woman must have to be considered a “woman”, those are piety, purity, submissiveness, and domesticity. With those four traits they a woman is to care for any other male counterpart but to do that she must be completely dependant on whoever the male counterpart is.

Now going back to how I approach love in this mind frame. I’m not saying I fit all of the aspect of a “true woman” but I notice that some aspects I hold higher than others for example, I want to remain pure till marriage or I find the right guy. Looking at this I am being dutiful for Mr. Right thought my pure body and being submissive to my needs so that I can be domestic to his sexual needs. I rationalize this and I am yelling at my self saying,” I’m not like this I’m pretty feminist”! Yet I keep going back to what I think is the true way to be a woman and I don’t even realizing it.

This brings the questing what is right because a lot of what I have been taught or bombarded with from society is mostly a myth. Yes, that is right most of what we believe a man and a woman should be is ficitious, they were ideals that were welcomed by the masses and turned in to the way things should be. (I was so shocked when I figured that out but back on subject.)

Which caused me to think how do I go about this approach of figuring out what is right for me yet at the same time no go crazy from the double edge sword of thinking.